home or the journey to my lunatic blackness

i spent nights on the nile
waiting for a star over a rooftop
until i finally discovered
: the wrong river had gone into my veins

thus i travelled  i travelled
guided by the full moon
i crossed mountains & bridges
& met several bitches
who tried to convert me
with glitter & gold
dicks in glasses  treetrunk size
jesus white on their side
in person of a fat-bellied priest
who  at dinnertime  eats
1
black
child

but it was too late

it was too late
for their mission to be fulfilled
the river in my veins
had made my body rise
to the size of a queen not a princess

thus every corset
they pressed on my nakedness
on the road from
being their slave to being my mistress
the river broke it
just before the next day’s caress

when i kissed my grandmother’s forehead
they gave up/ wished me
all the evil on my neck
& the devil in my bed
& tried to pray me into hell
amenamenhallelujah

instead i travelled              back
to my own heaven
the black man’s eden
the black woman’s womb
i travelled back  
to my own heaven
the black wo/man’s eden
the black wo/man’s womb
where stars over rooftops
were that plenty
that i bathed in their shine
ich entstieg diesem bad
das mich von der endlichkeit entblätterte
pur & rein
es befreite mich vom dreck meiner erbsünden
und nahm sie auf der milchstraße
mit weit hinter den mars
yes  i bathed in their shine
& when i raised my head
for the very first time
astonished that this was really possible
& not just old women’s whisper over the fireground
when i raised my head for the very first time
i became blind
of too much
of too much unfiltered beauty

thus i travelled  
into absolute blackness
& embraced all colours of
my new-gained darkness
regardless of the alledged loss
of white man’s reality
the black woman’s sunglasses
i had no use for no more
because i had reached my final destination:

home

in my lunatic blackness
outside of your reality
inside of Me